Losing a loved one is a very difficult time. There is no right or wrong way of grieving and everyone grieves in their own way.
Bereavement has common symptoms:
- Shock and numbness – it’s like being inside a bubble, things are happening around you but it feels you’re not directly involved.
- A sadness from the bottom of your stomach and you start crying without control
- Tiredness and/or exhaustion.
- Anger – you get angry towards the person you’ve lost, the change of your future plans, the situation.
- Guilt – guilt about being angry, not being able to prevent the death, about something you said or did.
The feelings you have could come and go in waves and at times hit you hard, and this is ok and normal.
There are 5 stages of grief:
- Denial – shock, disbelief, panic, confusion
- Anger – feelings of self-blame, or blaming others.
- Depression – feeling tired, hopeless, helpless, you feel isolated and lose perspective.
- Bargaining – feelings of guilt, often raise questions like ‘if only I had done this or that.
- Acceptance – this does not mean you like the situation but you accept it has happened and are ready to move on with your life. (This doesn’t mean you stop missing your loved or think about them often)
There are some that find it hard to go through the stages of grief and they get stuck and unable to progress through all the stages. This isn’t uncommon, at times like these you need a bit of extra support. You may have family and friends that you could talk to – however If they have worked though their grief, they may find it hard to support you with yours.
For most people grief will become less intense over time. But for some people grief lasts many months or years. This is known as prolonged grief disorder or complicated grief.
Symptoms of prolonged grief disorder include
- Very difficult feelings such as sadness or guilt that has lasted over 6 months
- Spending a lot of time thinking of the person who has died
- Difficulty in accepting the person has gone.
- Not being able to return to a ‘normal’ way of life.
- Suicidal thoughts
Someone is more likely to suffer prolonged grief disorder when a death has been traumatic
There are great independent services around for you to contact when things are getting tough and you need to talk to someone
Useful contacts
Winchester Bereavement Support – 07450 649 679
Cruse – 0808 808 1677
Mind – 0300 123 3393
Featured image by stockking on Freepik